I was reviewing an ancient history book the other day and again came across some fascinating facts and figures about places and people of the time and their exotic habits and curious beliefs and I thought maybe some of you find them interesting too, so I decided to share with you a few brief parts.
First I like to tell you, if I may, about the saints of a certain caste of the ancient Hindus (Cabalians as the author says) who go around naked with a big heavy bell, like an ear ring, hanging from their dick swinging and jingling all the way all time so people can hear the preacher is coming, (and to show that the holy man has absolutely nothing to do with women,) and they rush to receive the holly man and worship him and his bell and last but by no means what so ever not least, his swinging dick. The bell is so heavy and agonizing that the people have to (out of kindness that is, it’s not obligatory) they have to bring a stool for the man to put under his poor dick and let him rest for while when they are adoring him and burning aromatics under him, under the tired elongated dick; and they thank the holly man for putting up with the pain and enduring the torture for their sake, the man is actually paying for their sins with his penis and not peanuts you know. We say it's not fair, but who are we to judge the people who’s holy man has a four pound copper bell hanging from his dick?
Anyway, the people gather around him sit and listen to his preaching and when ever they talk or don't pay full attention, the nude priest puts his hands behind his head and jingles the bell majestically, so every body can see the miracle, see that the man means business, see that he is dangling the bell by pure will power. From that moment on they became all ears and eyes and at the end of the ritual they thank the great man kiss his thing and give him a drink, a cocktail you may say a mixture of bullshit and bull's urine and send him to the next village. And in this very caste there are other holy men whose specialty is suicide instead of dick dangling and they are rather brave I believe. Of course they can perform their art only once in their life time but that's no problem because there are many of them and they have a rule that they can kill themselves only one at a time so that people can watch and ask him if he is still here or there, and after they finished with him they can run to the other one and ask the same questions from him. They do it like this:
They dig a big hole in the ground make a reasonable amount of fire, not too much that burn the man in a jiffy, and the man goes down there and sits on fire up right and the people gather around him and ask him: "haven't you seen the paradise gardens yet? Any sign? Trees?"
He says: "not yet."
They ask again: "what about now, can you see the flowers? anything?"
He says: "Ah yes, but... wait a minute... no, not yet."
And the question and answer goes on. Unfortunately the narrator doesn't tell us more about this very interesting procedure and we don't know if one or all of these really nice guys see paradise at last or not; but my guess is that at least some of them should have seen some thing and told the poor people who were waiting for an answer around him; otherwise the people would lose interest. Of course except those who gathered just to have fun and had no beliefs in, in what ever it is.
Some of these suicide saints are real heroes, I mean real heroes, they stand the most horrible torture imaginable without screaming or making a sound, they don’t even budge, poor brave things. They sit absolutely still in the wilderness for so long that gradually birds of pray notice them, take them as dead go down on them and start eating them bit by bit. Unbelievable you might say, never the less it’s true. They say they don’t move till they drop dead. This is rather heavy I dare say, isn’t it?

But more interesting than the Indian rituals is how Tibet became a country, how people found it and stayed there and why they do the things that they do over there. As always to cut it short I just bring this part about how a man named Thabet became the first ruler of Tibet with the help of the Satan and how Satan taught him to eat flea and told him to tell his people to eat them daily too so they would have a long life and no enemies; and here the author comments: That's why people of Tibet eat flea all the time. (And we add that the Mongols used to eat them like any other thing they could lay their hands on; of course not after they conquered civilized countries and learned to eat caviar and filet mignon.)
This is what the narrator says:
When Thabet found Tibet the Satan send a few giants to kidnap him and take him on top of a mountain and then the Satan himself, disguised as an old man (this is really charming) as an old man came to him and said you must bow to me and worship me if you want to be the king of Tibet. Thabet bowed and this turned the old man on so he fucked him right there and then. Thabet didn't say anything, did not protest; either he had loved it or he knew better to quarrel with and old man over such a matter. Even so, after that the Satan, our guess is to show that he is in fact a fair man, bended over and told Thabet: "Now you do it to me my son."
Like they say it's indeed not easy to say no to an old man, specially to one who has fucked us in the ass right that moment. So Thabet fucked the nice fair old man either dutifully or because he loved to, and certainly it’s not any of our concern. After being fucked in the ass by an ambitious young man, Satan stood up cleaned his knees of dust and then he combed Thabet's hair with a wooden comb and his saliva, couldn’t find water up there you know, and kissed his forehead and told him to go and rule over Tibetans and always remember what he said about eating fleas and what they just did to each other. The author comments again: “That's why the Tibetans eat flea and fuck each other indiscriminately.”

No need to mention again that these descriptions belong to more than thousand years ago and no sensible person should be, and in fact is not allowed, to be offended in anyway.