Daily Anecdotes

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

The Egyptian jackal-headed god Anubis preparing a mummy.

Now, the thing that I was supposed to tell you last time but couldn’t, it’s a question actually from those who have self-confidence in the first place and more, are honest to themselves. I’m sure most of you are honest to other people but being honest to ones self is something else.

The Greek historian, Herodotus who visited Egypt in mid fifth century B.C. writes in his great book [The Histories] that in Egypt they have different methods of embalming, three ways to mummify the dead. In the most expensive one, for royal family and the well to do, “They first take a crooked piece of iron”, as he says, “and with it draw out the brain through the nostrils” and then they make a cut along the flank of the body and take out the whole contents of the abdomen and fill the cavity with aromatic myrrh, with spicery.
But in the cheapest method, for the poor, they let the brain alone, no crooked piece of iron, and leave the body intact, no cut with that Ethiopian sharp stone as he says. They just inject a certain amount of warm smooth cedar tree oil through the deceased ass inside the body and then seal the ass hole firmly for seventy days and keep the body, like the expensive methods, in some special liquid; and at the end of that time as he says: "The cedar oil is allowed to make its escape and such is its power that it brings with it the whole stomach and the intestines in a liquid state."
Real smooth, cool isn’t it?
Now the important question is: which one do you prefer, honestly. To let them take your brain out with a crooked piece of iron?! which is not sterilized I'm sure, through your nose and wound all the inside of your nose irreparably?! Why? And then brutally cutting your body from under the arm to your waist and bring out the stomach and everything like the butchers do to the poor cows?
OR,
Or, you like them to leave your brain alone and delicately like a caring mother, inject warm smooth oil into your ass, that’s all, and let you go? I bet even among the royal family you could find many smart people who bribed the embalmers to pass them as poor; to be treated like a human beings instead of being tortured so bad that one when think of it likes to sit down and cry for an hour at least.
Which one do you like?

6 Comments:

  • Youre being naughty again sir! But we laughed a lot and didn't know why.
    Fortunately we are poor people Gazankan!
    Hey whats the book story?
    Thanks again.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Dec 08, 07:26:00 AM  

  • I really don't mind. I rather let the living decide what they want to do with my body!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Fri Dec 09, 01:40:00 PM  

  • Ooh that’s a tough question. Something tells me that the person who invented these methods was actually poor himself and was trying to in this way somehow get back at the rich. It wouldn’t surprise me to hear that he also suggested that for the best result, they must in fact start the process before the dying person’s soul has fully parted with his body. For fresh keeping and all that, you know.
    Saying that, being a headache master and all, I think I quite fancy the idea of spending my next life feeling a bit light-headed at all times due to absence of brain. Also I was thinking if I make a little opening where my ear is, I could use the hollow skull to carry my stuff around in (you know, lipstick, mobile phone, loose change, that sort of thing) and have my arms free for dangling and handshaking and waving and all that. I’m thinking that will be particularly good for going out dancing. I’m sure all those girls clinging on to their handbags will be green with envy. Also I’m thinking if I’m being mugged or something, that’ll be the last place the muggers will look, naturally…Unless they are after my brains, which is not very likely.

    By Blogger Shirin, at Fri Dec 09, 02:14:00 PM  

  • Hi dear Shadi, nice to hear from you darling. But I suggest you stay with the cedar oil too, no harm in that.Just kidding baby!
    Shirin that was really funny and I laughed aloud thank you. and more than all that, you can make good use of it in the disco while dancing. you can shake your head and add an instrument to the band, like those Brazilians: chik chik mambo and that sort of thing.

    By Blogger GazanKhan, at Fri Dec 09, 02:37:00 PM  

  • Sorry Anonymous, I forgot to thank you for your laughs! but that's the trouble with anonymous isn't it; you forget all about it!

    By Blogger GazanKhan, at Fri Dec 09, 04:07:00 PM  

  • Good thinking Gazankhan. I was thinking that I could also get a family of say, field-mice to come and live in there for the winter and literary live in the phrase, Balakhoonasho ejareh dadeh.

    By Blogger Shirin, at Sat Dec 10, 08:00:00 PM  

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