Daily Anecdotes

Sunday, December 18, 2005



During my school years I read a story, a semi-historic story, belonged to the time of the Mongol invasion, it was about a passing Mongol who encountered a few peasants and killed them one by one, of course he had nothing against them and was doing this by habit actually, he killed them till the last one who was a young boy. The Mongol was bringing the sword down to cut his neck that the boy shouted:
”AAY AAGAA KHODAAY RAA BAMGAA MAMKOSH”
"Spare my life, O' great master! Do not kill me for the love of god, but thou mount on my rear and copulate as the laws of nature commands."
in today’s language the boy said: "For god's sake man! don't kill me, fuck me instead."
And it's interesting that according to the historic report the aggressive blood thirsty Mongol accepted the offer right away, did as was told and then let the boy go his way; the smart boy did it his way in other words.
The narrator, the historian, says that the shameless boy who begged so dishonorably for his miserable life, and was supposed to lose respect in the eyes of all the people and live the rest of his life in shame and hiding, wasn’t suppose to show his face, this boy on the contrary, lived a long respectful prosperous life and became the mayor of his town, had a big happy family and saw his great grand children and had all the goodies of life and when he became too old and tired of living he peacefully died happily ever after.
From all these facts the historian concludes that this is the way that all wise fortunate young men should behave under the same circumstances and in fact in every other circumstance, means that: they must always “act logically and without prejudice." But then he goes too far really and claims that the so-called moral maxim that says:
"To be a proud respectable man, to be able to keep your head up, you must keep your ass hole intact no matter what." he says this is just an impractical hypocritical unrealistic moral slogan, is in fact a big lie, is a "myth" as people say now days, from my friends here to the BBC to the EroNews and the CNN and the others.

Anyway, as a young man I thought the story was a joke, a fiction. Because I found it really hard to believe that a young uneducated peasant boy could be so sharp smart and wise and be able to see the future so clearly in a blink, to make such a tough decision in a second under so great a pressure, under the bloody sword of a cold blooded murderer.
But years later, once when I was reading this very educating scientific book about human and animals behavior, where in, in which the writer, an eminent zoologist and anthropologist had studied mammals and primates for years to understand the root and origin of the human behavior, in that book I came across an interesting scientific fact and right away I was reminded of that smart survivor boy and I realized that the anecdote could be a true story after all. Because what the boy had done was actually a natural response the situation.
In animal world when a primate confronts a powerful opponent that will kill him if he doesn’t think of something very fast, and wants to appease him, wants to show that he is at his service and calm him down, when he wants to be submissive and show the strong male that he is not a threat any more and there is no need to make a scene when he is surrendered, in short there's no need too kill him, in this situation according to the study, apart from running away which is not always possible, like the boy's case, another effective methods of appeasing is to lower the body make oneself smaller and shorter which is appose to standing and making the body bigger when aggressive, and people still do that by the way by bending in front of the chief; and when these acts don't do any good, again like in our clever boy's case, the animal tries to re-motivate the attacking ape. In this defensive method the submissive male makes, urges, the dominant male to spend all that pent up energy gathered in his body somewhere else. The pent up energy as you all know= all that sudden rush of adrenalin & carbohydrate & sugar into the blood and the increased blood pressure and the massive increase in respiratory activity, sweating to cool the engine down and...
All these changes prepare the animal for battle. So when you want to stop him you can't simply say stop! It’s not fair and is not practical anyway, the angry opponent will rightly ask: " what should I do with so much energy I have gathered then? Where should I empty all the calories?"
This is where the re-motivation act steps forward and suggests that the dominant male instead of tearing the opponent to pieces and make himself tired, upset and probably injure himself in the process, he simply fuck the other party and forget the whole thing, the very re-motivation act of our clever boy.
The professor writes in his famous book, [The Naked Ape]= human:

"...Another re-motivating activity is the adoption of female sexual posture by the weaker animal, regardless of its sex or its sexual condition, it may suddenly assume the female rump-presentation posture. It stimulates a sexual response, which damps down the mood of aggression. In such situations a dominant mail will mount and copulate with either a submissive male or female.”

Now, think about this my friends that what a beautiful world we could have if in every stupid war, this covers all of them, humans just adapt this technique instead of killing each other and at the end gain nothing; of course the victorious industrialists and other hot shots gain enough, but those who are tricked to every war with the same lies all through contemporary history (it's got really worse in fact because in the old days they had to pay people good money to fight for them, but now a days they don't even have to pay them, they just say your country needs you! instead of saying honestly that: “WE HAPPY FEW” need you to die for US, like the good old days.) anyway I was saying that the poor soldiers never gain anything. If they are really really lucky they go back home in one piece that's all.

Now just imagine it if they instead of shooting and burning and exploding and tearing each other to pieces for no reason actually, imagine the weaker group just offer their asses and end the fight like any intelligent respected ape and if the worse come to worst at the most they may fuck each other and go back to their families with their heads up and become senators and mayors and serve their country, like our clever boy did.
Now tell me people, wouldn't it be the greatest achievement of the human race? This is my contribution to the human civilization.
Some day I'm sure, if the human race is not wiped out from the earth, the humans will rich that degree of knowledge and level of intellect&honesty, in the part of the governments I mean, to adapt this technique instead of mass murders that they call "fighting for the good of humanity!" And at that time people want to know who was the man who suggested the big change, and you or your children could be proud to say that you, or your parents, were actually there when the man made the suggestion for the first time.

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