Just a few people were in the cheap cinema, sitting far away from each other, three to be precise; two lovers, two kissers to be more precise, at the back left corner who didn't watch the movie naturally, and a man in his forties, in a way a handsome man you could say. This man hadn't bought a ticket to take a nap, or to kiss anybody, or to warm himself, specially when outside was warmer, no, he had actually come to see the film, [Paris Texas]; he was a second class film critic.
A few minutes after the film was started a middle aged woman entered carrying her baby in her arms and sat at the far right corner far from the kissers and when she tried to put her baby on the sit beside her the silly child cried and screamed so loud and so annoying that the mother gave up but the child’s feelings was hurt badly, so she screamed for another full minute even after her mother sat her on her lap again and apologized sincerely time after time and kissed the little horrible thing, the "It's Alive" thing, from top to bottom and begged for mercy and forgiveness. The lovers stopped kissing each other for a few moments and then started again, went back to their business. But the man got so angry that without noticing he chewed his cigarette before lighting it and then when the little thing finished her demonstration of anger management, he lighted another one whispering to himself, cursing the mother and the child with full passion.
About ten minutes later the little thing got bored, quite predictably of course, and first started to cry and then when her mother didn’t do anything pretending to watch the movie, she started to scream again. But this time the mother who was used to her baby’s high-pitched screams paid no attention. She had suddenly decided to teach the spoiled child a lesson, wanted to teach her to be patient and watch the smooth absolutely actionless movie in silence.
This time the man couldn’t tolerate, couldn’t stand it, no sir, he couldn’t take the torture any more. So he got up and went to the mother and said: “ take this horrible thing out or you’ll regret it badly lady.”
The mother said: “Don’t worry sir she’ll be quiet soon. Don’t pay any attention to her. She’ll stop in a minute or two. I’m teaching her a lesson, she must learn you know…”
“I can’t believe it! Are you insane? I can’t take it another second.” the man shouted and then grabbed the baby’s hand and shouted: “stop it you ugly frog!”
Of course the baby screamed more vigorously and the man turning blue from anger whispered: “I said stop it you bastard or I fuck your mother right here right now.”
The child didn’t hear what the man said but the mother did and whispered in the man’s ear: “She doesn’t believe anything unless she sees it with her own eyes.”

Some young people probably have not heard that in the old days people were far more close to their animals than we, now a days, can imagine, and in some cases they were too close. Some men actually loved their animals, but the majority just used what was available. Some people really loved their animals like their sheep, dog, donkey, and believe me, even their chicken! But not cat by the way. We haven't seen any report about a man making love to a cat. I wonder why? May be because of her sharp nails? or the jealous husband, the big ferocious angry male cat? We don't know. Anyway, we have reliable reports from all over the world, this kind of behavior does not belong to a certain environment or race, no sir! It’s in human nature, in some human’s nature at least!
The event I’m going to tell you took place in the suburb of [...] at the last decade of the sixteen-century. (during the spring of 1597 to be exact.)
The seven-year-old son of the village preacher once woke up earlier than usual and went to take their beautiful donkey to pasture. In front of the half open stable door, he stopped amazed, froze in fact, and joyfully watched his father in action. The boy gladly waited till his father finished what he had started, and then went to play with his dog; left the donkey alone to absorb what ever it was to be absorbed, and the satisfied father went to the house to have his breakfast.
The boy thought it was customary for men to make love to their donkeys first thing in the morning, before breakfast.
So the next day the boy woke up early again, very excited and went out waited for his father to come out and start the show, so he can watch again and after that take the donkey to pasture. But the father didn't come out of the house that morning, he finished his breakfast and went to work, that is, went to preach, went to tell people not do certain things if they know what’s good for them.
The boy waited for a while and then went to the house and found out that his father had left the house without fucking the donkey; thought maybe his father had done it even sooner that morning but of course he couldn’t be sure.
The preacher was giving one of his usual lectures, was telling people not fuck around and do not sin, other wise they'll burn in hell and that sort of things, when suddenly his son appeared at the door with the donkey and asked:
"Father! shall I take the donkey to pasture, or you haven't fucked her yet?"

The answer to the “special Japanese restaurants” question:
But first let me thank those who posted their interesting answers, thank you my friends.
Now my answer to the question:
In the [girl on her back] service, the more expensive one, the chef fills the girl navel with shrimp-cocktail’s sauce and sets a circle of cold boiled shrimps around the pretty little sauce cup, the sauce is a tasty mixture of catch-up mayonnaise mustard and hot sauce.
When the girl lies on her belly the chef sets one pretty circle of shrimps on each buttock, like two Roman victory crowns on each lobe, and naturally the navel is replaced with another hole. In this position the girl cannot stay motionless as she is supposed to, and makes life miserable for those costumers who try to dip their shrimps; so the service is poorer, so it’s cheaper. Because the poor girl trembles all the time with all that mustard and hot sauce in her ass hole.

Did you know that Japanese restaurants serve sushi and shrimp cocktails and all sorts of seafood, not the very hot stuff I presume, on the naked body of young beautiful girls? recently China has banned this kind of service in Japanese restaurant there by the way.
There are two kinds of service: expensive, and more expansive, that is, the girl on her back and the girl on her belly. The [girl on her back] service is the more expensive one. Who can tell us why? I think I know the answer but first please you think about it and let me know what you think, I could be wrong you know, OK? Thank you; Till next time then.

To thank you four wise kind persons, the blogger now tells a historic anecdote that happened in the year of our Lord 1187 after the legendary Saladin, the Kurd commander and leader, recaptured Jerusalem from the crusaders and, without violence, told the Christ soldiers to leave the city and go back to their homes.
During the evacuation in that hot summer noon, Edgar of Nantes, a middle aged knight noticed an old merchant, an opportunist, who being a clever business man had found the day most suitable to get rid of his whole stock of ale by selling it to those thirsty lost souls.
He was shouting: “Cold fresh ale. Have a bowl of cold fresh ale and forget your misery you soldiers of Christ, you my poor crusaders! One dirham (one copper coin) a bowl.”
Edgar thirsty like hell galloped and jumped down from his horse in front of the old man’s tent and asked for a bowl of ale. The old man welcomed the knight and asked him to come into the tent and sit; and then he brought a big narrow neck earthen bottle and poured the thirsty knight a bowl of warm ale. Edgar being badly in need of a cold drink finished the bowl in a blink, paused for a moment, then gave the bowl back, and sank into deep thinking; the old man thought he was meditating on something and he was not totally wrong. So he waited patiently for about five minutes or more and then just when he opened his mouth to break the divine silence, the knight stood up and put his hand into his bag and fished out two silver coins and put them kindly in the man’s hand. The old man thanked him and went to give him back one silver coin and some change for the other one, saying that it was too much and the price for a bowl of ale was much less…
But the knight interrupted him and said:
“I know, I’m not paying for the ale, I’m paying for your art and mastery…”
“Thank you my lord…”
“… tell me, how on earth did you manage with that wide large ass hole of yours to shit in that narrow neck bottle?!”

This is a true story, it happened to one of my best friends(Mark Phillip Schicovsin)young uncle about thirty years ago during his stay in a very small village, two hundred miles south of [Harareh] the capital city of [Zimbabwe], and Mark has kindly given me permission to post it for curious smart young people so that they may learn some facts of life. I thank you again my friend.
Mark’s uncle,T.G.,had gone there as a contractor to build a bridge out side the so called, just a few tents, village in the middle of nowhere so that when people wanted to give address to a poor lost soul, they could say: "Near the bridge."
They had been working there for eight months and the uncle being a young man unusually fond of ladies, was in real pain because, as you may have heard, in the desert one can not have self service sex because sand is every where, covers everything, no matter what you do you are covered with sand from top to bottom inside and outside. So if one ignorantly rubs his finger with his hand he will damage the thick skin of the finger beyond repair! So,about other more sensitive parts like you know where, absoloutely forget it! It’s unthinkable. Anyway when T.G. realized that he is officially going banana from lack of woman, he decided to go and get some professional help and because there was no such a thing, he had no choice but to go to the middle aged wise man who was the water pomp operator. After an hour or so trying to make the man understand for himself what the poor guy needs, at last he opened his heart and told the man what he really needed so badly and the man told him that nothing can be done he said that there is simply no way and he must wait till he gets back home.
I can’t wait I’m going crazy; please help me I’ll pay you what ever you say…
It’s not about money…
And I’ll give you this gold Rolex.
Rolex, hey?
The man thought for a minute and then whispered in T.G.’s ear:You can do it to my helper that big guy by the well.
For a moment T.G. thought the man was joking but then he realized that he was not; he looked serious and sad too.
Have you gone yourself mad already,? before me?! That man will do it to me and you and every body else here before even we could take our pants off! He is a giant monster and very ugly and scary guy too…
I told you you have to wait.
Of course I will wait.What do you think I am?Godzilla?!
As always to make it short, T.G. kept going there and talked to the man and begged him to do something for him and the man kept saying the same thing and during that time T.G. being badly in need of sex, kept looking, from the corner of his eyes of course, at the big terrifying guy and kept convincing himself that an ass is an ass and in situations like this one can not be very choosy and may be he is nice and delicate, who knows? we mustn’t judge people by their appearance and… to make it even shorter, at last after a week or so one afternoon T.G. went to the man and gave him a hundred dollars and his gold Rolex. The man took the Rolex and the money and gave him twenty dollars back, said eighty dollars is enough, twenty each.
T.G. said: it’s ok take it all.
No I don’t want your money, you are my friend now I accept the watch as something to remember you with…
Ya right! And eighty dollars to make sure you’ll never forget me!
No, the money is for the guys…
What guys?!
The four big guys we must find.
The for big guys we must find! for what?
They must grab his hands and feet and hold him fast face down if you want to fuck him,I don’t think he'll appreciate it very much.

J.J. was making love to a woman very passionately, they were both enjoying it very much, the woman was in fact so fascinated, so delighted and enchanted she didn't know what to do and what she was doing. Crazed in the excitement of the orgy she plucked a few hair from her lovers genitals. Suddenly J.J. turned her around and started making love the gay way!
The woman shouted: What the fuck are you doing you bastard?!
J.J. calmly explained:All the world know my dear that when you pluck an arrow it looses its way?

All his life J.J. was known as the village brave tough guy, so when the killer lion decided to go down there and anchor in that beautiful famous cave near the village, the villagers naturally asked and begged him to hunt down the lion.J.J. accepted and the next morning the villagers gathered in front of the big gate prayed for him and thanked him and every one gave him something to use in the fight, the baron armored him,his uncle gave him one of those very big swords, and some vidow gave him her late husband's spear, and a Viking sailor who had repented,had gave up killing and looting for good and had married the miller's daughter, gave J.J. his axe and his big roung shield; even the one eyed peddler,the pot seller who was just passing through hugged him,with wet eyes, kissed him and put a helmet on his head; said in his ear:"can't be too careful,eh! put it on in case the lion decides to chew your head.The bastard has done this before you know."
J.J. thanked them all and... Anyway to make it really short:
They opened the gate and J.J. ran out shouting and farting all the way.A shepherd stopped him and asked:"What's the matter sir, why are you shouting so loud?"
"To frighten the lion."
"The Lion... I see... OK,why are you farting non stop then?"
"Because I'm frightened too."

In a cold winter night a nice young boy was,out of pity, making love to an old lady. After a while he suddenly pulled out. The lady got angry and shouted: what on earth do you think you're doing young man?!
Easy lady; just wanted to check which one is colder out side or inside.

The man said: last nigth I had a very interesting dream, half true half false.
Really?!
Yes, it was a great dream, well, till the middle at least. I was very happy, in fact I was so happy I got worried, feared I might die from happiness because I was carrying home a heavy load of gold on my shoulder, imagin that! It was so heavy that near my home, at last I shit in my pants, naturally I woke up.There was no sighn of the gold. Alas!