Daily Anecdotes

Monday, August 08, 2005

This is a true story, it happened to one of my best friends(Mark Phillip Schicovsin)young uncle about thirty years ago during his stay in a very small village, two hundred miles south of [Harareh] the capital city of [Zimbabwe], and Mark has kindly given me permission to post it for curious smart young people so that they may learn some facts of life. I thank you again my friend.
Mark’s uncle,T.G.,had gone there as a contractor to build a bridge out side the so called, just a few tents, village in the middle of nowhere so that when people wanted to give address to a poor lost soul, they could say: "Near the bridge."
They had been working there for eight months and the uncle being a young man unusually fond of ladies, was in real pain because, as you may have heard, in the desert one can not have self service sex because sand is every where, covers everything, no matter what you do you are covered with sand from top to bottom inside and outside. So if one ignorantly rubs his finger with his hand he will damage the thick skin of the finger beyond repair! So,about other more sensitive parts like you know where, absoloutely forget it! It’s unthinkable. Anyway when T.G. realized that he is officially going banana from lack of woman, he decided to go and get some professional help and because there was no such a thing, he had no choice but to go to the middle aged wise man who was the water pomp operator. After an hour or so trying to make the man understand for himself what the poor guy needs, at last he opened his heart and told the man what he really needed so badly and the man told him that nothing can be done he said that there is simply no way and he must wait till he gets back home.
I can’t wait I’m going crazy; please help me I’ll pay you what ever you say…
It’s not about money…
And I’ll give you this gold Rolex.
Rolex, hey?
The man thought for a minute and then whispered in T.G.’s ear:You can do it to my helper that big guy by the well.
For a moment T.G. thought the man was joking but then he realized that he was not; he looked serious and sad too.
Have you gone yourself mad already,? before me?! That man will do it to me and you and every body else here before even we could take our pants off! He is a giant monster and very ugly and scary guy too…
I told you you have to wait.
Of course I will wait.What do you think I am?Godzilla?!
As always to make it short, T.G. kept going there and talked to the man and begged him to do something for him and the man kept saying the same thing and during that time T.G. being badly in need of sex, kept looking, from the corner of his eyes of course, at the big terrifying guy and kept convincing himself that an ass is an ass and in situations like this one can not be very choosy and may be he is nice and delicate, who knows? we mustn’t judge people by their appearance and… to make it even shorter, at last after a week or so one afternoon T.G. went to the man and gave him a hundred dollars and his gold Rolex. The man took the Rolex and the money and gave him twenty dollars back, said eighty dollars is enough, twenty each.
T.G. said: it’s ok take it all.
No I don’t want your money, you are my friend now I accept the watch as something to remember you with…
Ya right! And eighty dollars to make sure you’ll never forget me!
No, the money is for the guys…
What guys?!
The four big guys we must find.
The for big guys we must find! for what?
They must grab his hands and feet and hold him fast face down if you want to fuck him,I don’t think he'll appreciate it very much.

6 Comments:

  • The Most unfunny annoing story I have heard in whole life. you should be ashamed of youreslf.
    I hate you.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Mon Aug 08, 06:03:00 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Mon Aug 08, 06:05:00 PM  

  • What an interesting story Gazan. There is just on thing that I can’t work out though, was there actually a river in that area at all or where these people just making a bridge over a desert for the sole reason that the villagers would be able to get their post delivered properly? And if that was the case, would it not have been better to maybe just stick a very long pole in the ground and tell the villagers to tell their friends that they live near the pole? Aaah, woulda, coulda, shoulda.

    By Blogger Shirin, at Tue Aug 09, 01:34:00 AM  

  • Very funny!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Aug 09, 08:32:00 AM  

  • I agree with anonymous, very funny. Please write more.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Aug 10, 10:49:00 PM  

  • Great blog gazankan!can you really write a good joke each day?
    I bookmarked you.thanks.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Mon Aug 15, 06:31:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home